Confused between 2 countries

[PinkyLife]

Hey everybody!

In fact, I came to you to share experiences concerning different countries you've lived in and if actually you are confused about where to choose to settle down! I am torched between the North and the South if I may describe it this way! I am born in France and lived there for almost half of my life and I lived in an arab country the other half! I left it cuz it was becoming unbearable there (not that I hate the country) but the mentality there is hard to cope with (too much intrusion in one's life, contradictions between traditions and religion, very frequent snobbish attitude, etc...).

I came back to France 2 years ago and I am so dissapointed. Most people are allergic to cultural differences and don't try to get out of their french cocoon! French are so chauvinist and negatively perceive any arab and this doesn't help me in term of professional career, I am constantly stereotyped as the typical arab coming from the 93 ghetto...

In terms of social life and futur marital life, am feeling like I won't find the One here...Many muslim arabs living in France don't know anything about their religion...they are even lost in their identity and actually dont know what they are looking for...

Muslim guyz would say they're looking for a serious relationship in a islamic way but their mask fall down as quicker as their hormones call them... they would say that marriage is so sacred and to make the good choice they have to live with the girl before marrying her to be sure she is the right one...

We don't have the freedom of religion in France and God knows how evil is becoming the society...couples are breaking every second (temptations are too much for guyz and women can't satisfy their husband), individualism is more and more prevailing, homosexuality is becoming the norm, drinking is fashion, islamophobia is normal, homophobia is a crime and so on and so forth...

Looking forward to your replies guyz!

 

[YoussefBirizem]

Hello PinkyLife

This is the way of the whole world unfortunately. What is happening to our people is very dissapointing. I have only ever lived in the west until very recently (Australia, specifically) and there are the same problems as you describe in France. There are good people out there, though, in any country. You just need to look, and choose your friends wisely.

 

[PinkyLife]

Thank you for your answer! But it's not a problem of friends...I got many friends. It's the whole system that doesn't fit me...maybe am too demanding...

 

[Kabbi]

Hello,

I will permit myself to answer you as I found that your message is significant for me.

First of all, I think that people are people wherever you are, and as you mentioned it , it depends mostly on mentality rather than the country itself. However I agree with you about the fact that, most of the mentality depends on the environment where you are living in, and by extension depends on the country where you are living in.

I mean you could change the country but people will stay the same, the difference lies on the degree of this mentality.

Now if I have to choose a country to live in where the degree of mentality is more open, more mature, a place where you will not find necessary happiness but great human rights, not necessary the high degree of honestly but too much civism and good manners and civility , not necessary best salaries but best cost of living…. Let me name it to you : Canada.

Remember ! I did not say Canada is the best country in the world, I said according to me that this is the right place to consider and of course it’s up to you to choose then best place to live in.

I also suggested Canada by analyzing what you mentioned:

You mentioned that ‘’I am born in France…… and I lived in an arab country ’’, in Canada there is a province that has as official language French, it’s Québec, it’s a kind of an old French (you can understand it as soon as you will habituated on it) .
And the second point is that many Arabs (especially from north Africa, Maghrebans) are living in Montréal the biggest city of Québec province. Other Arabs (Libanese) live in Toronto.

You mentioned also ‘’ cultural differences’’ Canada is a country of multiculturalism and you will find many cultures and a mixture of origins etc…

It’s also ranked 4th in the Human development ..

Let me put it in words: you will find surely some people who are stubborn just as someone’s you find in France, however they are a minority (that’s why I said at the beginning ‘’ people are people wherever you are’’).

You seems speaks English , lived in France and also in Arabs countries… I am Arabic, lived in France and now In Canada. If I did it , you could do it.

Once again , it’s only my point of view. Whatever you decide it’s up to you.

Good luck

 

[PinkyLife]

Dear Kabbi,

Thank you very much for your very detailed and concised answer!
In fat, I've heard a lot about the advantages of Canada! It is well known for being open and giving the chance to every citizen to trace its own path! I would be very inetrested to go there and explore the country! I used to work with Canadians in an international organization and I saw how curious they are about new cultures
The problem for me is that I can't really go that far since my family is between France and my other country. But I would be inetrested to know more about it
Tell me what are you working there and what was the main factor that push you to to take this decision and to leave all your life here in France???

 

[PinkyLife]

And again thanxxx for your encouragements! I do appreciate it!

 

[MisterW]

And again thanxxx for your encouragements! I do appreciate it!

I have à very bad english ,but i'd like tu make little effort to anwer.For me ,it's not problem if some peaple does'nt like other different race.In our arabic country we have a lot of peapole does'nt accept another culture ,race or sometimes another region in the same country.

we can't change the world ,or impose or idea ,we need to surmont that ...if you don't accept racsime ,it's mean you have an open mind.

 

[Sword]

Evil shouldn't be the focus, the focus should be the good that is left.......and? the purposes for our lives are the ones we invent.

 

[PinkyLife]

I have à very bad english ,but i'd like tu make little effort to anwer.For me ,it's not problem if some peaple does'nt like other different race.In our arabic country we have a lot of peapole does'nt accept another culture ,race or sometimes another region in the same country.

we can't change the world ,or impose or idea ,we need to surmont that ...if you don't accept racsime ,it's mean you have an open mind.

Muchas gracias for your effort Caliente
I know we have to ignore those racist people and I know that in our own arab countries, racism is worth sometimes...maybe am fed up of a whole system not only racism...am so sad about us (when I say us, I mean the arab community), we are arabs in appearance but we became so westernized in our way of thinking and living...and by taking the negative parts like selfishness, individualism, superficiality...etc...
But it's me who should do the effort to adapt and avoid those persons...

 

[Kabbi]

Hi PinkyLife,

You are welcome.

Tell me what are you working there

I am administrative assistant in purchasing department of a company.

and what was the main factor that push you to to take this decision and to leave all your life here in France???

Fist of all most of my life I spent it in Morocco.
I only was in France while I was baby until my 7 years old, then my family decided to go back home in Morocco.

If we have to talk about factors I can say there are many:

This envy to see the world, this curiosity to see how people live there, I preferred to immigrate to see that by my own eyes rather than listen to people explaining what THEY saw, or just keeping reading news in Net or TV.
We say ‘’ Who never travelled and meet people, will not know the real value of humanity’’

This desire to prove to myself that I can rely on myself far away from my references (family, friends, country, climate, language, etc…)

Also to have the opportunity to practice French and especially the international business language : the English language.

This dream to make a place in a big world, and that could be made only when there are favorable conditions for development.

Of course I asked myself, well, why specifically Canada? why Not to immigrate back to France? why not USA? or why not Norwich, Finland or Sweden as they are the 3 best countries in human development in the world..???

According to me the answers are:

France : there is no Ministry of Immigration, and I have tried to study there but I had no positives answers, it seems my 7 years of living there doesn’t help much;

USA: since the unfortunate events of September 11th , I had no choices to be accepted… I am Arabic and Muslim and it’s a very bad idea to think immigrating there at those moments;

Norwich, Finland or Sweden: well sure they are very good countries however I do not speak Norwich, neither Swedish nor Finnish;

I was looking precisely for a place where I can use my French but in an American Area, so I find out that Quebec is the French provincial in north America… plus the both official language in Canada are French and English (even if in the real life, except Quebec, you will not lucky to find people speaking French), so here is an opportunity to improve my languages..

Here are some of my reasons… other have more or less, some immigrate just to have the Canadian passport, others in order to have high academic diploma and come back to their countries, also others preferred to raise money while he/she is living in Canada etc…..

Mine is mostly to find a new way of life by keeping my culture, somehow I feel like this tree that has its branches high in The Canadian way of life, and with its roots attached to his, Arabic-Muslim-Moroccan culture.

Hope I gave you a glimpse of my how-to-see for immigrating to Canada.

Have a nice day

 

[mouuk]

Hello PinkyLife

This is the way of the whole world unfortunately. What is happening to our people is very dissapointing. I have only ever lived in the west until very recently (Australia, specifically) and there are the same problems as you describe in France. There are good people out there, though, in any country. You just need to look, and choose your friends wisely.

salam, i think u live in australia plz i want just to find me a shcool to learn english there for 2 mounths plz plz if u could of course thank u

 

[PinkyLife]

Hi PinkyLife,

If we have to talk about factors I can say there are many:

This envy to see the world, this curiosity to see how people live there, I preferred to immigrate to see that by my own eyes rather than listen to people explaining what THEY saw, or just keeping reading news in Net or TV.
We say ‘’ Who never travelled and meet people, will not know the real value of humanity’’

This desire to prove to myself that I can rely on myself far away from my references (family, friends, country, climate, language, etc…)

Also to have the opportunity to practice French and especially the international business language : the English language.

This dream to make a place in a big world, and that could be made only when there are favorable conditions for development.

Of course I asked myself, well, why specifically Canada? why Not to immigrate back to France? why not USA? or why not Norwich, Finland or Sweden as they are the 3 best countries in human development in the world..???

According to me the answers are:

France : there is no Ministry of Immigration, and I have tried to study there but I had no positives answers, it seems my 7 years of living there doesn’t help much;

USA: since the unfortunate events of September 11th , I had no choices to be accepted… I am Arabic and Muslim and it’s a very bad idea to think immigrating there at those moments;

I was looking precisely for a place where I can use my French but in an American Area, so I find out that Quebec is the French provincial in north America… plus the both official language in Canada are French and English (even if in the real life, except Quebec, you will not lucky to find people speaking French), so here is an opportunity to improve my languages..

Here are some of my reasons… other have more or less, some immigrate just to have the Canadian passport, others in order to have high academic diploma and come back to their countries, also others preferred to raise money while he/she is living in Canada etc…..

Mine is mostly to find a new way of life by keeping my culture, somehow I feel like this tree that has its branches high in The Canadian way of life, and with its roots attached to his, Arabic-Muslim-Moroccan culture.

Hope I gave you a glimpse of my how-to-see for immigrating to Canada.

Have a nice day

I see that you are a very curious and open-minded person! You have a lot of ambitions and that's great! Yes you are so right we have to travel to get sensitive to humanity and to understand the essence of life! In fact, you've got my point, you understood what am looking for in my life by answering my question! We tend to work and alien ourself by forgetting the true meaning of life!
But I admire this courage to go far away to discover new things!

Just my last question lol, don't you feel homesick sometimes ?

 

[Kabbi]

Just my last question lol, don't you feel homesick sometimes ?

Homesickness umm… ! this melancholy at being away from home and family, strong, sad feeling of missing one's home (and often left-behind loved ones, such as family and friends).
to be honnest, yes time to time, but let's taek a lok at the word:

The origin of the word came from Nostalgia a word composed of two Greek words, nostos (means: to comeback) and algia (means pain).

It’s a natural feeling when someone leaves his family, his friends, his place, and moreover the souvenirs of his past…

However when the decision of immigration was made, we asked ourselves THE question ‘’ what do you want in your life? ’’, and of course when we are ready to immigrate we keep wondering if we are ready to face this ‘’feeling’’ of being far away from our ‘’landmarks’’.

So for me I was thinking that we are not necessary staying at the same place all our life, and we will not have same people around us all our life, sometimes we change friends , other times some relatives died and gone away, we could also move from a city to other and from a house to another etc…..

So I decided to immigrate by preparing mentally myself to such feeling, and when I arrived to my ‘’new world’’ I tamed this New-Life slowly but surely and smoothly, like a person who is going to enter the bathroom and try to habituate himself on the water (hot or cold) until feeling comfort in his bath.

On other hand, when you ‘’ go with the flow ‘’ and appreciate your new home, new friends, new situation, new life, ...you manage perfectly your nostalgia.

However, it depends on people, some still feel pain to remember his souvenirs, other manage it as good as they could … nobody live the same situation, it’s really personal, but according to me I handled it and keep remembering my souvenirs and mix then with my new-souvenir in my new home-sweet-home.

 

[misslolly]

well for me
i made up my mind
i m in love with Dubai and will never change it with any other place unless i m pushed to do so :'( and i think i l be leaving it soon if i m not lucky coz i should follow my husband to the country where he live

But hopefully will convince him later to come back

 

[MisterW]

Muchas gracias for your effort Caliente
I know we have to ignore those racist people and I know that in our own arab countries, racism is worth sometimes...maybe am fed up of a whole system not only racism...am so sad about us (when I say us, I mean the arab community), we are arabs in appearance but we became so westernized in our way of thinking and living...and by taking the negative parts like selfishness, individualism, superficiality...etc...
But it's me who should do the effort to adapt and avoid those persons...

OK ,now i understand what du you say.It's true ,our communnity change like all other community...I think ,with internet ,communication ,and all the channel tv ,we live in a short village ,a distance between people becomes short and behaviors becomes similar....

i think ,finnaly ,we should accept this changement whathever it's unfortunate.

 

[PinkyLife]

well for me
i made up my mind
i m in love with Dubai and will never change it with any other place unless i m pushed to do so :'( and i think i l be leaving it soon if i m not lucky coz i should follow my husband to the country where he live

But hopefully will convince him later to come back

Hey Miss,

You have to tell me about Dubai! That was one of the countries that I was interested in! I know that we do have lots of very interesting work opportunities there! I have lost of friends who succeeded in their profesisonal life! But I am feeling like I'ill get bored there quickly! maybe it is just an impression.

Can you give me more details about it?
And where is this other country where your husband wants to go???

 

[misslolly]

Hey Miss,

You have to tell me about Dubai! That was one of the countries that I was interested in! I know that we do have lots of very interesting work opportunities there! I have lost of friends who succeeded in their profesisonal life! But I am feeling like I'ill get bored there quickly! maybe it is just an impression.

Can you give me more details about it?
And where is this other country where your husband wants to go???

You will get Bored of what exacty?
the country been an Arabic Muslim Country.. well yeah maybe the other Emirates in the UAE but believe me not Dubai..

Day life and night life are more better then any other place
The biggest Malls in the world you ll find it in Dubai only

I ve got so many friends they came from France to work here whenever they go back home in France they get bored...
Just one thing, if you get used to Dubai, you will not like to change it with any other country.. but also it depends on each and everyone ...

Ladies here are having the right more then the Men
Arabic ladies having the right more then other nationalities

The life level here is soo much high..
You can do some research

Good luck in case you came here, you can contact me i ll show yo around

For the moment my husband in Saudi Arabia and its difficult for me to go there after i get used to this country

 

[majdwaline]

Hey everybody!

In fact, I came to you to share experiences concerning different countries you've lived in and if actually you are confused about where to choose to settle down! I am torched between the North and the South if I may describe it this way! I am born in France and lived there for almost half of my life and I lived in an arab country the other half! I left it cuz it was becoming unbearable there (not that I hate the country) but the mentality there is hard to cope with (too much intrusion in one's life, contradictions between traditions and religion, very frequent snobbish attitude, etc...).

I came back to France 2 years ago and I am so dissapointed. Most people are allergic to cultural differences and don't try to get out of their french cocoon! French are so chauvinist and negatively perceive any arab and this doesn't help me in term of professional career, I am constantly stereotyped as the typical arab coming from the 93 ghetto...

In terms of social life and futur marital life, am feeling like I won't find the One here...Many muslim arabs living in France don't know anything about their religion...they are even lost in their identity and actually dont know what they are looking for...

Muslim guyz would say they're looking for a serious relationship in a islamic way but their mask fall down as quicker as their hormones call them... they would say that marriage is so sacred and to make the good choice they have to live with the girl before marrying her to be sure she is the right one...

We don't have the freedom of religion in France and God knows how evil is becoming the society...couples are breaking every second (temptations are too much for guyz and women can't satisfy their husband), individualism is more and more prevailing, homosexuality is becoming the norm, drinking is fashion, islamophobia is normal, homophobia is a crime and so on and so forth...

Looking forward to your replies guyz!

hi dear,

wish I am not so late to participation to such intersting topic and let me say that I am totaly agree with all said and I figure out frustrated the situation is .

feeling torched between 2 countries is something most of people chiefly immigrants . I have never been in france so for sure I couldn't contredict your saying about the fact to be negatively perceived as arabs because I heard that thousands of time and the media also quoted it.

don't you think that some arabs are unfortunately responsable for what is happining in nowadays ? french people couldn't be all or mostly racists or bad , and the same for other ethnicities because the situation isn't unique in france only .

 

[PinkyLife]

hi dear,

wish I am not so late to participation to such intersting topic and let me say that I am totaly agree with all said and I figure out frustrated the situation is .

feeling torched between 2 countries is something most of people chiefly immigrants . I have never been in france so for sure I couldn't contredict your saying about the fact to be negatively perceived as arabs because I heard that thousands of time and the media also quoted it.

don't you think that some arabs are unfortunately responsable for what is happining in nowadays ? french people couldn't be all or mostly racists or bad , and the same for other ethnicities because the situation isn't unique in france only .

Hey Majdwaline!
Sorry for replying that late. Thanx for your anwser!
I agree with you we are kind of responsible of our situation. If our countries were "liveable", we wouldn't immigrate! This is exactly what I feel towards my country! I am so upset cuz I wish I could do my life there but life conditions are so unbearable :s!

 

[majdwaline]

hi dear,

wish I am not so late to participation to such intersting topic and let me say that I am totaly agree with all said and I figure out frustrated the situation is .

feeling torched between 2 countries is something most of people chiefly immigrants . I have never been in france so for sure I couldn't contredict your saying about the fact to be negatively perceived as arabs because I heard that thousands of time and the media also quoted it.

don't you think that some arabs are unfortunately responsable for what is happining in nowadays ? french people couldn't be all or mostly racists or bad , and the same for other ethnicities because the situation isn't unique in france only .

well I think now we are equal as I delay also commenting ..Lol

and I think it doesn't matter to be late to replay back sometimes , as soon as we're available to ..any way wish at lease you are doing fine ,
Now concerning the fact about such mess which drive many of Moroccans to quit the country for good sometimes or temporary has something to do also with annoying mentality of some and not always People immigrate because of the materialist reason more than to make a change for best life(not necessarily to earn more money ) and conditions very often in the homeland are just not encouraging to advance exactely perhaps like you experimented by your own ..unfortunately .


Anyway , without a shadow of doubt ..things never remain the same ..there is always hopes that the best is coming .


have a nice day , week or week end .